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Sample text

It looks like a sausage to me,’ the customs man stated offhandedly, but without animosity. ‘Yes, and I see from the paperwork here that the haggis is actually made from certain obscure parts of a sheep,’ he then remarked. He smiled cordially again. ’ For the second time that day, I thought Jock was about to explode. ’ he snapped. ’ The officer inclined his head in a that’s-what-I-said sort of way. ’ Jock reiterated. ’ The officer inclined his head to the other side, this time in a what-the-hell’s-that?

The inglenook was, in effect, the living heart of the household. I’ve also heard it described as a family sanctuary, in which, at the end of a day of toil in the fields, the post-supper silence would be broken only by the ticking of the clock and the crackling of the fire – and, no doubt, the occasional snore. Characteristically, the bell-shaped chimney breast was painted white, offsetting the smoke-darkened wood of the mantleshelf, on which an array of terracotta jugs, greixonera cooking dishes and copper utensils were lined up as they would have been when still in daily use.

To run daily, bi-daily, or weekly? ’ Jock shifted uneasily on his feet. ‘Uhm-ah, no. ’ He looked furtively over his shoulder, leaned towards the girl and muttered out of the corner of his mouth, ‘What I had in mind was a coupla three-line entries in the personals. ’ 34 MISADVENTURES OF A PARTY ANIMAL I smiled inwardly. Jock had met his match here. ’ With a bored look and without ceremony, the girl pushed a form over the counter to him. ‘The small ad rates are printed at the top there, sir – in cents per word!

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